Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
