we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
