I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
