last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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