so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
