You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
