We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
