I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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