this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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