his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
