It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
