Kiss
Puke
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
