So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
