just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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