I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
