dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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