She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
