I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
