I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
