ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
