billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
