Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
