just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
