so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Less talking, more tequila
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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