i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
