we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
