Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
