After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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