They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Randomize
