its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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