I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you had me at cake vodka
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
