We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
