the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
