Pappa wants mamma naked
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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