my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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