too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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