would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
