no, he came in my armpit
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
