my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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