She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Randomize
