AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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