1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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