it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
