So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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