please come you make the beer taste better
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
