Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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