He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
