i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
