***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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