thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
