I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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