Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
