Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
