I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
