Dual....:-)
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
