idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
