We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
