It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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