we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
