You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
