Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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