I want to make a zoo with you.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
