There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize